What to Say (and Not Say) to a Loved One in Crisis

When someone you love is spiraling from addiction, your instinct is to fix it. To rescue. To talk sense into them. But the truth is—the wrong words can push them further away. The goal isn’t to control the outcome. It’s to communicate with calm, compassion, and boundaries. Instead of threats or guilt, say: “I love you, but I can’t enable this anymore.” Or: “I’m here when you’re ready to talk about help.” Avoid phrases like “You’re ruining your life” or “If you loved me, you’d stop.” They don’t open doors—they close them. Remember: you can’t talk someone into recovery. But you can show up differently, stop enabling, and create space for change.